This is it.
THE POST. The one I've anticipated writing for a long time...and here I am! And it will take a lot longer to write due to only having one arm to type with.
I didn't lose an arm...I had a
baby. :)
Caution: if you are not into birth stories or things like cervixes, this might be a bit TMI. ;)
Wednesday night, July 31st, I had a long night of false labor. Contractions came pretty regularly, but due to having a few false alarms in the past, I had told Andrew I wouldn't go to the hospital until I was screaming (haha)...and sure enough, come morning the contractions drifted apart and I was left just being tired.
But the contractions didn't disappear...and I noticed on Thursday that they were still coming frequently, about every 15 minutes or so, and with a bit more intensity than in the past.
I was skeptical...my body was not very trust-worthy or punctual. I had resigned myself to an induction the following Tuesday.
Thursday night, August 1st, I attempted to sleep, only to be awakened every 7 minutes by very uncomfortable contractions.
I wasn't screaming yet...but we decided to go to the hospital around 2 am.
Now, I had been to the hospital before with labor pains...so I knew the drill. You go into triage and they check your cervix and strap these monitors to your belly...and this is where I need to stop for a moment to let off some steam.
I DESPISE those strappy monitors. HATE them. They are itchy, they add more pressure, they beep constantly and tell you when a contraction is coming...which, HELLO, I already know, and I could tell you exactly when they happen and for how long and also how uncomfortable they are, if you're wondering! But those nurses, bless them...are very insistent on keeping those things attached.
(And yes, I understand why. But that doesn't change my huge dislike for strappy monitors. One of the worst parts of the hospital experience, if you ask me.)
*breathe*
Okay. Back to the story.
Turns out I was still only at 1 cm dilated, although I was 90% effaced...which according to the nurse, was pretty unusual. We found out why later...but I'll tell you more on that in a bit.
It's pretty discouraging to have lost two nights of sleep due to contractions and then find out you're only 1 cm dilated...I was definitely hoping for a bit more! After a good cry, I walked around the hospital (with my amazing husband and mother... more on them later.) for a bit before the nurse checked me again...with the same results.
She said they could do a few different things...they could check me in and give me morphine (!) to help me sleep through the night until the contractions got more intense, or they could give me an Ambien, which would hopefully help me relax and sleep till morning.
To their surprise, I wanted to go home and labor there for a while. I don't really love hospitals, and if I'm going to be uncomfortable, I want to be uncomfortable at home! Makes sense, right? So I took the Ambien (didn't really work), went home, and spent the next 8 hours on our bed, watching movies (The Tourist, and The Time Traveler's Wife), and breathing through some pretty unpleasant contractions.
Fast forward to 2pm, Friday, August 2nd.
Mom had come over Friday mid-morning. After a round of particularly painful contractions, I remember her saying around 2pm, "Okay, I think it's time to go back in."
I didn't want to, as I was sure my body was just being a bun...I just knew they would send me back home after saying, "Hey, nice to see you again! Awesome braxton hicks you're having there. See you Tuesday for the induction."
Honestly, even later, when I was in the middle of very active labor, I still wondered if it was fake. :D
We checked back in, and I felt absolutely deflated when they told me I was still at 1 cm. At this point, I was having contractions that made me cry out, and at one point, drop to all fours on the bathroom floor. How on earth could I only be 1 cm? They had me wait about an hour, and I remember listening to the cries of the girl next door to me, who was also obviously in pain. She spoke a different language, but between contractions, I wanted to hug her and tell her, "It's okay. We're going to make it through this! We're stronger than we think we are!"
The nurse checked me again an hour later, and oh, the overwhelming relief that flooded over me when she said,
"You're about...4 to 5 cm!"
I burst into tears and cried, "Thank You Lord!"
Progress is a beautiful thing. :)
They loaded me up and checked me into the room where I would have my little girl.
At 7:30, I met two of the kindest, sweetest nurses one could ever ask for: Angel and Lindsey. They came in with smiles on their faces and took the time to explain every thing clearly. They made sure we were all as comfortable as we could be, and they encouraged me through my difficult contractions. I'll never forget the kindness and support those two women displayed that night!
At one point, Angel spent about 45 minutes on her knees (!!!), monitoring the baby's heart beat by hand so that they wouldn't have to strap on the monitor, which she knew was uncomfortable for me.
This would be a good time to brag about my mom and my husband. My mom was unbelievably strong...she coached me through every contraction and helped me be strong when I thought I couldn't do it any more. The nurses thought she was a trained doula! Someday I hope to do for Evelyn what she did for me.
Andrew was quiet, as he usually is, but he stayed with me the entire time, rubbing my back, whispering "Good job, Bri," and holding my hand. I have this one picture in my mind...towards the end, when contractions were very close and very difficult, he would kneel down on the hard floor so I could lean on him through the waves. Tears...
I really don't think I could've done it without them.
Around 11pm, I was 8 cm, so they called the doctor in. None of the doctors in the office I went to were available, so I had never met this man before...Dr. Gregory VanWienen. He put all my fears to rest. He was kind and soft spoken and I felt perfectly comfortable with him.
One thing I have to say about St. Mary's is that EVERYONE read my birth plan. Everyone - the doctors, the nurses...everyone. I felt very respected.
4 very difficult hours later...
I was still at 9 cm. And I was pushy. Not I-want-this-over kind of pushy (although that was true as well), but the kind of pushy when your body decides it's time for the baby to come out and starts pushing during contractions. This was honestly the worst part of the labor. My body wanted to push, but I couldn't - pushing would cause damage.
Dr. VanWeinen explained that Baby was stuck in a sortof crooked position, which is why I wasn't progressing as fast as I wanted. He said that the only way to progress would be to labor on my hands and knees on the bed...but I wouldn't be able to push, no matter how much I wanted to.
It was 3 am.
I was so tired. I hadn't slept in three nights and I could barely see straight, much less consider the thought of fighting the urge to push. Moving any way to any position seemed impossible to me. All I could think of was the next wave of contractions and how to get through them.
I knew I wouldn't be able to move to my hands and knees and not push. I wasn't strong enough at that point.
I asked the doctor if there were any other options.
He hesitated...and later I realized he was thinking of that part in my birth plan that said very clearly, "Please do not offer me an epidural."
My mom actually brought it up:
"What about an epidural?"
Dr. VanWeinen explained that an epidural would take away the desire to push, and then they could rotate ME from side to side to get the baby to fall into position.
I heard Andrew, who had been quiet for quite a while, say "Yes."
So I got an epidural...and smiled probably for the first time in 24 hours. I remember saying to the nurses, "You guys are so nice!" lol
The epidural, despite my prior objections to it, was amazing. Within seconds I felt the pain ebb away and I could actually relax! I fell asleep for a while on my side and we just let the contractions do their job. The nurses rotated me from side to side for the next couple hours.
I remember the doctor checking me hours later and saying, "This is amazing. She is in position and ready to go."
Dr. VanWeinen's shift ended at 7 am, so my delivering doctor was Dr. Stanford, a genuinely funny and kind lady. I started pushing around 9 am, which I didn't mind at all! The epidural was still in effect, so there wasn't much pain...just a lot of hard work and concentration. I wanted that kid OUT!
Andrew's plan was to not look (lol), but he got the job of holding one of my legs as I pushed, and the curiosity got to him. He saw more than I did! haha :) Later he said, "Some guys might not be able to handle it, but I'm glad I did."
Good guy. :)
At 11:06 am, with one big push, my little girl came into the world. The first thing I noticed (through the happy tears) was her amazing head of dark hair! She cried a bit and then settled right down when they set her on my chest. She opened her eyes within minutes and looked around...such an alert little girl!
I was absolutely exhausted...but that moment when I held my baby was surreal. I was so happy, I didn't even care about the long hours of labor beforehand. I'd have done it again. Truly.
Evelyn Marie. 7 lbs, 14 oz. 21 inches long. My precious little girl.
Right now she's sleeping next to me on the bed, her face sort of scrunched up on my leg.
She's been eating NON STOP, which is actually a blessing, as she lost about 9 oz after being born.
One thing I've learned this week is that mothers worry about EVERYTHING. But at least I don't have to worry about her getting enough milk now. She's put back on 7 ounces. Thus the dairy farmer title...
Well. That's long enough. I've got many more stories about this past week, but I'll save them for another day. I'm gonna go cuddle with my sweetie. :)
(One hour old)
(Mommy and Baby)
Sweet girl :)
