I've been meaning to keep this updated with Evelyn's milestones.
Ha. I don't know if I've posted a single one!
Well, here's a few:
She's just about 5 months old...
- She started smiling around 3 weeks (no kidding!). No laughing yet though.
- She had her first bit of "real food" a couple days ago...mashed up banana.
- She's been sitting up in the bumbo for about a month and a half. But she's now throwing herself backwards to get out...so bye-bye to bumbo soon.
- She's starting to push up with her legs.
- No rolling over yet...still waiting...
- She says "blah blah blah blah".
- She found her toes two days ago.
- She pinches. Is that a milestone?
- When she nurses, she reaches up and touches my face gently...and then grabs a handful of my skin until I screech. Another great milestone?
- She has been sleeping through the night since around 6 to 8 weeks. Or at least around 6 hour stretches.
- Her first Christmas is tomorrow!
I'm too tired to write any more. I'll try to be more faithful with my milestone journaling.
G'night and Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
Diapers!!!
We have officially begun cloth diapering!
Initially, we had so many disposables gifted to us, that we decided to hold off cloth diapering until little E was a bit older. Then, as the disposables ran out, I started to get a bit fearful...cloth diapering seems like such a commitment, and I wasn't sure I was ready to take the plunge.
So I decided we'd start just part time - on days that I was home with her all day, and not traveling.
And then I caught it - the disease known as CDO...Cloth Diaper Obsession. The bright little thing start to get into your brain! I'm not sure I can describe it...you'll just have to take my word for it.
Right now we are using BumGenius AIO snaps, Fuzzibunz Elite Pockets, and a few other that I got gently used from another mom. I just ordered three new AIOs (all-in-ones...just means you don't have to stuff it with an insert or use a cover) called Diaper Rites. They have pretty great reviews and are much less expensive than their BumGenius counterparts. So we'll see how they perform once they come in the mail.
I LOVE getting stuff in the mail!
Maybe because as a new mom of an almost 3 month old, I don't get out very much - but there's something absolutely thrilling about getting a package dropped off at your front door. :D
A couple weeks back I "went shopping" at OldNavy.com and got myself a couple new shirts, a coat, a skirt and a scarf...and saved over $25 with promo codes and coupons...not to mention the 30% off sale they were having. THEN I got $30 in Old Navy Cash...which means I get to go shopping again this weekend. This time for some pants. :) I decided I will NOT be a frumpy mom.
Another thing I've been into lately is finding deals on hip2save.com...a FANTASTIC site for great deals. Collin, the woman who runs the site and finds the great deals, must be a genius.
For instance, I got cute personalized address stickers, gift tags, and Christmas cards shipped here for less than $2! Good deals are exciting. :)
In other news, I'm now dairy-free. Little E has had a stuffy nose since she was about 4 weeks old, along with being pretty gassy. Some green mucous-y poop (I know, TMI) convinced me she has a sensitivity to milk products, and since I'm the source of her diet, I must now give up dairy.
I hope Evelyn feels the love...I hold many dairy products dear to my heart, and it hurts a little to give them up. But if it makes my sweet pea feel better, then it's worth it.
I donated my old milk stash to someone who needed it for their kiddo...that part makes me feel pretty good. But I did get a lot of responses from moms who needed milk, and I felt bad that I couldn't help them all. :(
Well, I'm getting pretty stellar (bringing that word back) at typing with one hand. Lil' E is asleep in my other arm...I think I'll just stare at her for a while. :)
G'day!
Friday, September 20, 2013
Wisdom and Folly
Wisdom teeth, that is. And folly being that I didn't get this done years ago.
Well, at least this only happens once.
I don't think I could take many more days of stressing and obsessing over the possibility of dry socket.
This evening, after an especially long stint of researching dry socket and everything that could possibly go wrong after dental procedures (did you know there is a website called dentalfearcentral.com?), I coughed, and spurted out a ton of blood...which led to a call to the emergency hotline, which led to a discussion with a doctor, who said that it was normal, and to just put some gauze back in there for a while. I think my brain caused the problem, from worrying too much.
This isn't fun.
Plus I want pizza. Or a chicken caesar salad. Or a giant hamburger with tomato, ketchup and mustard, with a pickle on the side.
*sigh* And I'm stuck with liquids and yogurt. All blood-flavored.
Sorry, that's gross. Yet I feel a lot better when people know exactly how miserable I am. I like sympathy. I'll never understand people who suffer in silence. ;)
Evelyn slept a lot today, which I'll take as a personal favor...assuming she's not up all hours of the night tonight.
Or assuming she doesn't decide to do a repeat of Wednesday night's poopy adventure (see last blog post).
But after this, I should have a perfectly pain-free and enjoyable year. Anyone who gives birth and gets their wisdom teeth taken out within 7 weeks should get a clean bill of health for at least the next 12 months. Right.
Thankfully, the pain isn't bad. I'm just griping. Cuz I'm hungry.
Okay, goodnight. :)
~Briana
Well, at least this only happens once.
I don't think I could take many more days of stressing and obsessing over the possibility of dry socket.
This evening, after an especially long stint of researching dry socket and everything that could possibly go wrong after dental procedures (did you know there is a website called dentalfearcentral.com?), I coughed, and spurted out a ton of blood...which led to a call to the emergency hotline, which led to a discussion with a doctor, who said that it was normal, and to just put some gauze back in there for a while. I think my brain caused the problem, from worrying too much.
This isn't fun.
Plus I want pizza. Or a chicken caesar salad. Or a giant hamburger with tomato, ketchup and mustard, with a pickle on the side.
*sigh* And I'm stuck with liquids and yogurt. All blood-flavored.
Sorry, that's gross. Yet I feel a lot better when people know exactly how miserable I am. I like sympathy. I'll never understand people who suffer in silence. ;)
Evelyn slept a lot today, which I'll take as a personal favor...assuming she's not up all hours of the night tonight.
Or assuming she doesn't decide to do a repeat of Wednesday night's poopy adventure (see last blog post).
But after this, I should have a perfectly pain-free and enjoyable year. Anyone who gives birth and gets their wisdom teeth taken out within 7 weeks should get a clean bill of health for at least the next 12 months. Right.
Thankfully, the pain isn't bad. I'm just griping. Cuz I'm hungry.
Okay, goodnight. :)
~Briana
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Poop.
Today is brought to you by the letter C. C is for Crap.
Crap is what happened last night. ;)
So. You might have heard we have a flea problem at the VT's. Either our cat brought in a colony of fleas, or the previous owners failed to mention their flea farm in the carpet. Either way, we've been vacuuming constantly, spreading borax and flea pesticide, and trying to beat those little buggers without bombing the place.
The other day - and this will show you how I've changed into a MOM - I found a flea on my daughter's sock. And I grabbed it. WITH MY FINGERS. I don't touch bugs...but you come near my daughter? IT IS ON!
I flushed that bug right down the sink. And felt good about it. :)
So last night Andrew spread diatomaceous earth on our carpet, which resulted in billowing clouds of sea-creature exoskeleton powder. That's what diatomaceous earth is. Ew.
But it's supposed to be amazing at killing fleas, and it's non-toxic, so I feel pretty good about it.
The problem is, you don't want to get a lot of it on your skin, because it's abrasive and dries out your feet. So we were sortof exiled to our queen sized bed, which currently resides in our living room (that's another story).
As we went to bed, I got everything I needed for the night on a little table right next to the bed, so I wouldn't have to get out of bed and step on the powder. Diapers, my pump, hand sanitizer, etc.
"We only have 4 wipes left...hopefully Evelyn doesn't poop tonight." Said I, to Andrew.
HA.
It was 2:30 am. Evelyn woke up hungry, so I nursed her sitting crisscross applesauce on the bed. I put my pillow under her for extra cushion.
Then it happened. The gurgleurgleurgleurgle sound of Evie filling her pants. Oh shoot.
And it didn't stop. She kept going, and I became increasingly concerned for the welfare of her diaper. She smiled and cooed at me, as I lifted her off my pillow...and saw the yellow trademark. Blowout.
Worst one ever. I woke Andrew up and together we somehow managed to get her cleaned up, redressed in a new onesie, and my pillow removed to the laundry pile.
Wipe count: 0.
Then it was 6am. Evelyn was hungry again, so I woke up to feed her...and once again heard THE SOUND.
NOOO! We have no wipes! I have to go old-school and use a wash cloth??? Poop! Literally!
So I slipped on my flip flops and got some cloths wet and went back to the bed to face the second poopy diaper of the night.
And it was going so well...except as I removed the dirty diaper, it snagged the clean one I had placed underneath her, and at that very same moment, she decided to finish the job. All over my sheets. I moved her to a different spot on the bed, while simultaneously trying to wipe her down and avoid the diapery mess...and watched in complete awe as she continued to poop! So now we had a trail going. And I didn't have wipes. Or any help, since Andrew had left for work.
I don't know how I managed. I think I may have had celestial help, since somehow she ended up at least somewhat clean, with new clothes on.
And I had to throw the entire bedding set into the wash this morning.
Now I'm at my parent's. It's too powdery at home...we'll have to vacuum everything up and wipe everything down this evening, because tomorrow morning I get my wisdom teeth removed, and I can't recover in the dusty disrepair that is now my home.
You know? I'm gonna survive this. And I'm going to look back on this someday and laugh. :)
Actually, to be honest, it's a little funny right now. I should get a t-shirt that says "I survived September, 2013". ;)
Toodle-loo!
Crap is what happened last night. ;)
So. You might have heard we have a flea problem at the VT's. Either our cat brought in a colony of fleas, or the previous owners failed to mention their flea farm in the carpet. Either way, we've been vacuuming constantly, spreading borax and flea pesticide, and trying to beat those little buggers without bombing the place.
The other day - and this will show you how I've changed into a MOM - I found a flea on my daughter's sock. And I grabbed it. WITH MY FINGERS. I don't touch bugs...but you come near my daughter? IT IS ON!
I flushed that bug right down the sink. And felt good about it. :)
So last night Andrew spread diatomaceous earth on our carpet, which resulted in billowing clouds of sea-creature exoskeleton powder. That's what diatomaceous earth is. Ew.
But it's supposed to be amazing at killing fleas, and it's non-toxic, so I feel pretty good about it.
The problem is, you don't want to get a lot of it on your skin, because it's abrasive and dries out your feet. So we were sortof exiled to our queen sized bed, which currently resides in our living room (that's another story).
As we went to bed, I got everything I needed for the night on a little table right next to the bed, so I wouldn't have to get out of bed and step on the powder. Diapers, my pump, hand sanitizer, etc.
"We only have 4 wipes left...hopefully Evelyn doesn't poop tonight." Said I, to Andrew.
HA.
It was 2:30 am. Evelyn woke up hungry, so I nursed her sitting crisscross applesauce on the bed. I put my pillow under her for extra cushion.
Then it happened. The gurgleurgleurgleurgle sound of Evie filling her pants. Oh shoot.
And it didn't stop. She kept going, and I became increasingly concerned for the welfare of her diaper. She smiled and cooed at me, as I lifted her off my pillow...and saw the yellow trademark. Blowout.
Worst one ever. I woke Andrew up and together we somehow managed to get her cleaned up, redressed in a new onesie, and my pillow removed to the laundry pile.
Wipe count: 0.
Then it was 6am. Evelyn was hungry again, so I woke up to feed her...and once again heard THE SOUND.
NOOO! We have no wipes! I have to go old-school and use a wash cloth??? Poop! Literally!
So I slipped on my flip flops and got some cloths wet and went back to the bed to face the second poopy diaper of the night.
And it was going so well...except as I removed the dirty diaper, it snagged the clean one I had placed underneath her, and at that very same moment, she decided to finish the job. All over my sheets. I moved her to a different spot on the bed, while simultaneously trying to wipe her down and avoid the diapery mess...and watched in complete awe as she continued to poop! So now we had a trail going. And I didn't have wipes. Or any help, since Andrew had left for work.
I don't know how I managed. I think I may have had celestial help, since somehow she ended up at least somewhat clean, with new clothes on.
And I had to throw the entire bedding set into the wash this morning.
Now I'm at my parent's. It's too powdery at home...we'll have to vacuum everything up and wipe everything down this evening, because tomorrow morning I get my wisdom teeth removed, and I can't recover in the dusty disrepair that is now my home.
You know? I'm gonna survive this. And I'm going to look back on this someday and laugh. :)
Actually, to be honest, it's a little funny right now. I should get a t-shirt that says "I survived September, 2013". ;)
Toodle-loo!
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Then and Now
My little sister just started band yesterday.
Which has triggered for me a deluge of introspective musings on how life changes, and how we change through the course of time.
See, I used to be in band. Let me word that differently: I used to live FOR band. I signed up for every conceivable music class on Wednesdays (in retrospect, I realize those classes cost money. Thanks Mom and Dad! :)...Chorale, Concert Band, Bell Choir, Girl's Choir, Brass Quintet, Symphony Orchestra, and a jazzy-ish ensemble called 'Horns of Glory'. Literally - all of those in one day!
And I loved it SO much.
So when I heard that Ivey had started beginning band, I began to reminisce on old times...and what a different person I was! Well, not different...but I had a completely different life then. One of Ivey's friends said to Ivey, "Are you Briana's sister? She's like...famous!"
I laughed, because in a small sort of way, I was "famous" back then. But now? The title would never fit. Then, I couldn't wait to hang out with my friends...I dearly loved spending EVERY moment doing social things, and I had a very large group of buddies.
Flash forward 7 years, and my life has significantly condensed itself. In some ways, I would say I've become the opposite of what I used to be. Hanging out with friends not only doesn't happen very often, but it's sometimes a stressful thing to even think about beforehand.
But don't misunderstand me...I'm not unhappy. There are times that I think fondly of those carefree teenage years- and I always will- but my current contentment overshadows any longings for the "old days".
I love my little home, and my husband, and my child. I love spending my weekends with my family. I'm perfectly content with things how they are, and I'm pretty confident that as my baby (and future children) grow older, I'll start widening my horizons a bit again. Maybe hanging out with friends will once again become a big part of my life. Maybe I'll be "famous" again (hehe... a little facetiousness there for ya. Or as we say in the VanderToorn home: Fuh-shee-shushness).
(Spoiler alert: I even have a long-term goal of returning to the homeschool bands to teach someday! :)
It's just interesting to me that even just 5 years can so drastically change a person.
What will I be like in another 5 years? I'll be 30 then...probably leading passel of kiddos smeared with peanut butter and jelly remnants, juggling a baby, a diaper bag, and a grocery cart.
But what will I be LIKE? Because circumstances do not necessarily change a person, nor can they stop one from becoming something new.
Well, look at me! I did the laundry, the dishes, mopped the floor and wrote a weblog! I'm basically super woman! *pats self on back*
;)
Glad tidings of great joy! (Getting in the Christmas spirit early, due to being an elementary music teacher)
~Bri
Which has triggered for me a deluge of introspective musings on how life changes, and how we change through the course of time.
See, I used to be in band. Let me word that differently: I used to live FOR band. I signed up for every conceivable music class on Wednesdays (in retrospect, I realize those classes cost money. Thanks Mom and Dad! :)...Chorale, Concert Band, Bell Choir, Girl's Choir, Brass Quintet, Symphony Orchestra, and a jazzy-ish ensemble called 'Horns of Glory'. Literally - all of those in one day!
And I loved it SO much.
So when I heard that Ivey had started beginning band, I began to reminisce on old times...and what a different person I was! Well, not different...but I had a completely different life then. One of Ivey's friends said to Ivey, "Are you Briana's sister? She's like...famous!"
I laughed, because in a small sort of way, I was "famous" back then. But now? The title would never fit. Then, I couldn't wait to hang out with my friends...I dearly loved spending EVERY moment doing social things, and I had a very large group of buddies.
Flash forward 7 years, and my life has significantly condensed itself. In some ways, I would say I've become the opposite of what I used to be. Hanging out with friends not only doesn't happen very often, but it's sometimes a stressful thing to even think about beforehand.
But don't misunderstand me...I'm not unhappy. There are times that I think fondly of those carefree teenage years- and I always will- but my current contentment overshadows any longings for the "old days".
I love my little home, and my husband, and my child. I love spending my weekends with my family. I'm perfectly content with things how they are, and I'm pretty confident that as my baby (and future children) grow older, I'll start widening my horizons a bit again. Maybe hanging out with friends will once again become a big part of my life. Maybe I'll be "famous" again (hehe... a little facetiousness there for ya. Or as we say in the VanderToorn home: Fuh-shee-shushness).
(Spoiler alert: I even have a long-term goal of returning to the homeschool bands to teach someday! :)
It's just interesting to me that even just 5 years can so drastically change a person.
What will I be like in another 5 years? I'll be 30 then...probably leading passel of kiddos smeared with peanut butter and jelly remnants, juggling a baby, a diaper bag, and a grocery cart.
But what will I be LIKE? Because circumstances do not necessarily change a person, nor can they stop one from becoming something new.
Well, look at me! I did the laundry, the dishes, mopped the floor and wrote a weblog! I'm basically super woman! *pats self on back*
;)
Glad tidings of great joy! (Getting in the Christmas spirit early, due to being an elementary music teacher)
~Bri
Sunday, September 8, 2013
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do!
Whenever Evelyn takes a nap (which is starting to be less frequent these days), I have a moment of panic, wherein I think of all the things that need to be done, and I'm not sure where to start.
Many times I just feel like SITTING. Just by myself, quietly, with nothing to do.
Then I notice the growing pile of laundry.
And all the laundry that I managed to DO, but not fold.
And the folded laundry that I haven't put away.
And the dishes.
And yesterday's hastily made food still on the table.
And then I realize I haven't made a decent meal for my husband in weeks.
And then I hear Evelyn stir, and her eyes pop open, and she wants me to feed/bounce/talk to her.
And then I break into hysterical, slightly crazed laughter.
;)
BUT, despite the general state of disrepair here at the VanderToorns, life is good. I LOVE being a mom! More and more, each day! I'm really starting to get the hang of things. Diapers, breastfeeding, etc.
And Evelyn's becoming more interactive each day, which is really fun. She smiles at me very often, which is evidently not very normal for a 5 week old? She makes great eye contact and she's started "talking" to me in a series of grunts, coos and squeaks. Endlessly entertaining. :)
And it's so much fun to dress her! Her head of hair is going to be increasingly fun to play with in the next months...so much hair, so little time! I'm keeping my eyes open for hair ribbons, clips, and headbands.
She's starting to make noises, which means my time is limited. I really should at least clean SOMETHING...
But there's a quick update for you. Off I go!
Many times I just feel like SITTING. Just by myself, quietly, with nothing to do.
Then I notice the growing pile of laundry.
And all the laundry that I managed to DO, but not fold.
And the folded laundry that I haven't put away.
And the dishes.
And yesterday's hastily made food still on the table.
And then I realize I haven't made a decent meal for my husband in weeks.
And then I hear Evelyn stir, and her eyes pop open, and she wants me to feed/bounce/talk to her.
And then I break into hysterical, slightly crazed laughter.
;)
BUT, despite the general state of disrepair here at the VanderToorns, life is good. I LOVE being a mom! More and more, each day! I'm really starting to get the hang of things. Diapers, breastfeeding, etc.
And Evelyn's becoming more interactive each day, which is really fun. She smiles at me very often, which is evidently not very normal for a 5 week old? She makes great eye contact and she's started "talking" to me in a series of grunts, coos and squeaks. Endlessly entertaining. :)
And it's so much fun to dress her! Her head of hair is going to be increasingly fun to play with in the next months...so much hair, so little time! I'm keeping my eyes open for hair ribbons, clips, and headbands.
She's starting to make noises, which means my time is limited. I really should at least clean SOMETHING...
But there's a quick update for you. Off I go!
Monday, September 2, 2013
Dear Evelyn,
Up to this point in my life, I would not be okay with being awake at 4am. But right now I'm nursing you, you hungry little thing, and I don't ever want to forget this moment.
It's not a particularly special 4am. It's happened many times these past weeks, and it will happen many times again. But this morning I'm struck by how much I adore you. I'm charmed and amused by your little grunts and squeaks; your unabashed enthusiasm for eating. I'm loving the little smiles you've been giving me lately, especially when you realize I'm about to nurse you. Yesterday you pulled away couple times just to give me a dopey milk-smile before getting back to business.
I love the way you stretch and yawn when you're waking up. I love that smooshy little face and crazy bed-head hair.
And I want to hold on to this moment...hold on to you forever. Notice every little movement, every expression. Every baby noise. Keep you little like this, because the thought of you getting too big for me to hold breaks my heart.
You've won me over completely, little girl. Captured my heart fully and unconditionally...somehow I was changed 4 weeks ago, and I'll never be the same.
So I'll get up with you at 4am. Every 4am, if I need to. Even when your 5 and you've had a bad dream. Or when you're 16 and you just need to talk. I'll always be there if you need me, my sweet girl.
I love you so, so much.
- Mom
I love you forever, I like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.
Up to this point in my life, I would not be okay with being awake at 4am. But right now I'm nursing you, you hungry little thing, and I don't ever want to forget this moment.
It's not a particularly special 4am. It's happened many times these past weeks, and it will happen many times again. But this morning I'm struck by how much I adore you. I'm charmed and amused by your little grunts and squeaks; your unabashed enthusiasm for eating. I'm loving the little smiles you've been giving me lately, especially when you realize I'm about to nurse you. Yesterday you pulled away couple times just to give me a dopey milk-smile before getting back to business.
I love the way you stretch and yawn when you're waking up. I love that smooshy little face and crazy bed-head hair.
And I want to hold on to this moment...hold on to you forever. Notice every little movement, every expression. Every baby noise. Keep you little like this, because the thought of you getting too big for me to hold breaks my heart.
You've won me over completely, little girl. Captured my heart fully and unconditionally...somehow I was changed 4 weeks ago, and I'll never be the same.
So I'll get up with you at 4am. Every 4am, if I need to. Even when your 5 and you've had a bad dream. Or when you're 16 and you just need to talk. I'll always be there if you need me, my sweet girl.
I love you so, so much.
- Mom
I love you forever, I like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Quick, the baby's sleeping! What do I do?
My honey is two weeks, 1 hour and 17 minutes old right now.
And wow, these weeks have been a learning experience for me!
One of the things I did as an expectant mom was READ. Constantly. I surfed all the baby websites, read tons of forums, kept updated on how my child was developing, researched and wrote out my birth plan...I made sure I was mentally prepared for the birth of my child.
Ironically, I should have spent a bit more time researching what to do with a newborn once the birth is over!!!
For example, I barely glanced at the breast feeding sections of the interwebz, since I honestly thought:
And wow, these weeks have been a learning experience for me!
One of the things I did as an expectant mom was READ. Constantly. I surfed all the baby websites, read tons of forums, kept updated on how my child was developing, researched and wrote out my birth plan...I made sure I was mentally prepared for the birth of my child.
Ironically, I should have spent a bit more time researching what to do with a newborn once the birth is over!!!
For example, I barely glanced at the breast feeding sections of the interwebz, since I honestly thought:
"How hard could it be?"
I figured that Evelyn would come out hungry, and I would plug her in, and all would be golden.
I didn't realize that,
1. Babies have to LEARN how to latch on
2. I had to learn how to TEACH the baby how to latch on
I didn't realize that,
1. Babies have to LEARN how to latch on
2. I had to learn how to TEACH the baby how to latch on
3. It's hard to find a comfortable position to nurse (still is!)
4. I was going to have to nurse ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
4. I was going to have to nurse ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
Really. She's hungry at least every two hours, and often less than that. Each session lasts about a half hour, often longer.
You do the math. :)
You do the math. :)
So we're starting to get the hang of things. I guess she's doing alright, since she put on 11oz in one week. I'm just waiting for my poor boobs to feel better (sorry...tmi, I know. But OW!).
She's so sweet. She's relaxing a little bit...which I think has to do with the fact that I'm relaxing a bit. The first couple days I was really stressed out and overwhelmed and frankly, exhausted. But now I'm starting to get used to this whole motherhood business and I'm really enjoying it! My little girl is SO darn cute and I'm just in love with her. :)
She's stirring now.
Time to feed the little munchkin and watch my show - I find it helps distract me a bit so I can relax and let her eat as long as she needs to.
I'm learning, okay? :)
Time to feed the little munchkin and watch my show - I find it helps distract me a bit so I can relax and let her eat as long as she needs to.
I'm learning, okay? :)
Sunday, August 11, 2013
The Day I Became a Dairy Farmer
This is it.
THE POST. The one I've anticipated writing for a long time...and here I am! And it will take a lot longer to write due to only having one arm to type with.
I didn't lose an arm...I had a baby. :)
I DESPISE those strappy monitors. HATE them. They are itchy, they add more pressure, they beep constantly and tell you when a contraction is coming...which, HELLO, I already know, and I could tell you exactly when they happen and for how long and also how uncomfortable they are, if you're wondering! But those nurses, bless them...are very insistent on keeping those things attached.
(And yes, I understand why. But that doesn't change my huge dislike for strappy monitors. One of the worst parts of the hospital experience, if you ask me.)
THE POST. The one I've anticipated writing for a long time...and here I am! And it will take a lot longer to write due to only having one arm to type with.
I didn't lose an arm...I had a baby. :)
Caution: if you are not into birth stories or things like cervixes, this might be a bit TMI. ;)
Wednesday night, July 31st, I had a long night of false labor. Contractions came pretty regularly, but due to having a few false alarms in the past, I had told Andrew I wouldn't go to the hospital until I was screaming (haha)...and sure enough, come morning the contractions drifted apart and I was left just being tired.
But the contractions didn't disappear...and I noticed on Thursday that they were still coming frequently, about every 15 minutes or so, and with a bit more intensity than in the past.
I was skeptical...my body was not very trust-worthy or punctual. I had resigned myself to an induction the following Tuesday.
Thursday night, August 1st, I attempted to sleep, only to be awakened every 7 minutes by very uncomfortable contractions.
I wasn't screaming yet...but we decided to go to the hospital around 2 am.
Now, I had been to the hospital before with labor pains...so I knew the drill. You go into triage and they check your cervix and strap these monitors to your belly...and this is where I need to stop for a moment to let off some steam.
I DESPISE those strappy monitors. HATE them. They are itchy, they add more pressure, they beep constantly and tell you when a contraction is coming...which, HELLO, I already know, and I could tell you exactly when they happen and for how long and also how uncomfortable they are, if you're wondering! But those nurses, bless them...are very insistent on keeping those things attached.
(And yes, I understand why. But that doesn't change my huge dislike for strappy monitors. One of the worst parts of the hospital experience, if you ask me.)
*breathe*
Okay. Back to the story.
Turns out I was still only at 1 cm dilated, although I was 90% effaced...which according to the nurse, was pretty unusual. We found out why later...but I'll tell you more on that in a bit.
It's pretty discouraging to have lost two nights of sleep due to contractions and then find out you're only 1 cm dilated...I was definitely hoping for a bit more! After a good cry, I walked around the hospital (with my amazing husband and mother... more on them later.) for a bit before the nurse checked me again...with the same results.
Turns out I was still only at 1 cm dilated, although I was 90% effaced...which according to the nurse, was pretty unusual. We found out why later...but I'll tell you more on that in a bit.
It's pretty discouraging to have lost two nights of sleep due to contractions and then find out you're only 1 cm dilated...I was definitely hoping for a bit more! After a good cry, I walked around the hospital (with my amazing husband and mother... more on them later.) for a bit before the nurse checked me again...with the same results.
She said they could do a few different things...they could check me in and give me morphine (!) to help me sleep through the night until the contractions got more intense, or they could give me an Ambien, which would hopefully help me relax and sleep till morning.
To their surprise, I wanted to go home and labor there for a while. I don't really love hospitals, and if I'm going to be uncomfortable, I want to be uncomfortable at home! Makes sense, right? So I took the Ambien (didn't really work), went home, and spent the next 8 hours on our bed, watching movies (The Tourist, and The Time Traveler's Wife), and breathing through some pretty unpleasant contractions.
To their surprise, I wanted to go home and labor there for a while. I don't really love hospitals, and if I'm going to be uncomfortable, I want to be uncomfortable at home! Makes sense, right? So I took the Ambien (didn't really work), went home, and spent the next 8 hours on our bed, watching movies (The Tourist, and The Time Traveler's Wife), and breathing through some pretty unpleasant contractions.
Fast forward to 2pm, Friday, August 2nd.
Mom had come over Friday mid-morning. After a round of particularly painful contractions, I remember her saying around 2pm, "Okay, I think it's time to go back in."
I didn't want to, as I was sure my body was just being a bun...I just knew they would send me back home after saying, "Hey, nice to see you again! Awesome braxton hicks you're having there. See you Tuesday for the induction."
I didn't want to, as I was sure my body was just being a bun...I just knew they would send me back home after saying, "Hey, nice to see you again! Awesome braxton hicks you're having there. See you Tuesday for the induction."
Honestly, even later, when I was in the middle of very active labor, I still wondered if it was fake. :D
We checked back in, and I felt absolutely deflated when they told me I was still at 1 cm. At this point, I was having contractions that made me cry out, and at one point, drop to all fours on the bathroom floor. How on earth could I only be 1 cm? They had me wait about an hour, and I remember listening to the cries of the girl next door to me, who was also obviously in pain. She spoke a different language, but between contractions, I wanted to hug her and tell her, "It's okay. We're going to make it through this! We're stronger than we think we are!"
The nurse checked me again an hour later, and oh, the overwhelming relief that flooded over me when she said,
"You're about...4 to 5 cm!"
I burst into tears and cried, "Thank You Lord!"
Progress is a beautiful thing. :)
They loaded me up and checked me into the room where I would have my little girl.
At 7:30, I met two of the kindest, sweetest nurses one could ever ask for: Angel and Lindsey. They came in with smiles on their faces and took the time to explain every thing clearly. They made sure we were all as comfortable as we could be, and they encouraged me through my difficult contractions. I'll never forget the kindness and support those two women displayed that night!
At one point, Angel spent about 45 minutes on her knees (!!!), monitoring the baby's heart beat by hand so that they wouldn't have to strap on the monitor, which she knew was uncomfortable for me.
This would be a good time to brag about my mom and my husband. My mom was unbelievably strong...she coached me through every contraction and helped me be strong when I thought I couldn't do it any more. The nurses thought she was a trained doula! Someday I hope to do for Evelyn what she did for me.
Andrew was quiet, as he usually is, but he stayed with me the entire time, rubbing my back, whispering "Good job, Bri," and holding my hand. I have this one picture in my mind...towards the end, when contractions were very close and very difficult, he would kneel down on the hard floor so I could lean on him through the waves. Tears...
I really don't think I could've done it without them.
Around 11pm, I was 8 cm, so they called the doctor in. None of the doctors in the office I went to were available, so I had never met this man before...Dr. Gregory VanWienen. He put all my fears to rest. He was kind and soft spoken and I felt perfectly comfortable with him.
One thing I have to say about St. Mary's is that EVERYONE read my birth plan. Everyone - the doctors, the nurses...everyone. I felt very respected.
4 very difficult hours later...
I was still at 9 cm. And I was pushy. Not I-want-this-over kind of pushy (although that was true as well), but the kind of pushy when your body decides it's time for the baby to come out and starts pushing during contractions. This was honestly the worst part of the labor. My body wanted to push, but I couldn't - pushing would cause damage.
Dr. VanWeinen explained that Baby was stuck in a sortof crooked position, which is why I wasn't progressing as fast as I wanted. He said that the only way to progress would be to labor on my hands and knees on the bed...but I wouldn't be able to push, no matter how much I wanted to.
It was 3 am.
I was so tired. I hadn't slept in three nights and I could barely see straight, much less consider the thought of fighting the urge to push. Moving any way to any position seemed impossible to me. All I could think of was the next wave of contractions and how to get through them.
I knew I wouldn't be able to move to my hands and knees and not push. I wasn't strong enough at that point.
I asked the doctor if there were any other options.
He hesitated...and later I realized he was thinking of that part in my birth plan that said very clearly, "Please do not offer me an epidural."
I asked the doctor if there were any other options.
He hesitated...and later I realized he was thinking of that part in my birth plan that said very clearly, "Please do not offer me an epidural."
My mom actually brought it up:
"What about an epidural?"
Dr. VanWeinen explained that an epidural would take away the desire to push, and then they could rotate ME from side to side to get the baby to fall into position.
I heard Andrew, who had been quiet for quite a while, say "Yes."
I heard Andrew, who had been quiet for quite a while, say "Yes."
So I got an epidural...and smiled probably for the first time in 24 hours. I remember saying to the nurses, "You guys are so nice!" lol
The epidural, despite my prior objections to it, was amazing. Within seconds I felt the pain ebb away and I could actually relax! I fell asleep for a while on my side and we just let the contractions do their job. The nurses rotated me from side to side for the next couple hours.
I remember the doctor checking me hours later and saying, "This is amazing. She is in position and ready to go."
Dr. VanWeinen's shift ended at 7 am, so my delivering doctor was Dr. Stanford, a genuinely funny and kind lady. I started pushing around 9 am, which I didn't mind at all! The epidural was still in effect, so there wasn't much pain...just a lot of hard work and concentration. I wanted that kid OUT!
Andrew's plan was to not look (lol), but he got the job of holding one of my legs as I pushed, and the curiosity got to him. He saw more than I did! haha :) Later he said, "Some guys might not be able to handle it, but I'm glad I did."
Andrew's plan was to not look (lol), but he got the job of holding one of my legs as I pushed, and the curiosity got to him. He saw more than I did! haha :) Later he said, "Some guys might not be able to handle it, but I'm glad I did."
Good guy. :)
At 11:06 am, with one big push, my little girl came into the world. The first thing I noticed (through the happy tears) was her amazing head of dark hair! She cried a bit and then settled right down when they set her on my chest. She opened her eyes within minutes and looked around...such an alert little girl!
At 11:06 am, with one big push, my little girl came into the world. The first thing I noticed (through the happy tears) was her amazing head of dark hair! She cried a bit and then settled right down when they set her on my chest. She opened her eyes within minutes and looked around...such an alert little girl!
I was absolutely exhausted...but that moment when I held my baby was surreal. I was so happy, I didn't even care about the long hours of labor beforehand. I'd have done it again. Truly.
Evelyn Marie. 7 lbs, 14 oz. 21 inches long. My precious little girl.
Right now she's sleeping next to me on the bed, her face sort of scrunched up on my leg.
She's been eating NON STOP, which is actually a blessing, as she lost about 9 oz after being born.
One thing I've learned this week is that mothers worry about EVERYTHING. But at least I don't have to worry about her getting enough milk now. She's put back on 7 ounces. Thus the dairy farmer title...
She's been eating NON STOP, which is actually a blessing, as she lost about 9 oz after being born.
One thing I've learned this week is that mothers worry about EVERYTHING. But at least I don't have to worry about her getting enough milk now. She's put back on 7 ounces. Thus the dairy farmer title...
Well. That's long enough. I've got many more stories about this past week, but I'll save them for another day. I'm gonna go cuddle with my sweetie. :)
(One hour old)
(Mommy and Baby)
Sweet girl :)
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Chocolate-Covered Almonds and Watermelon
^The two things I've eaten most recently. Quite delicious (and I didn't have a name for this post. So it worked out).
This morning I dragged myself out of bed at 7:30 to go to a NST (Non-Stress Test) at St. Mary's Hospital. Baby is active and healthy...which I could've told them without having been strapped to a bed for 40 minutes, considering the fact that Baby is dedicated to kicking me with chutzpah whenever possible. She's active? No kidding!
I'm actually okay with her kicking me. I just wish she'd come out and do it from the outside. Like, seriously Baby...at least be willing to assault me to my FACE. 0_o
Nothing really interesting is happening, so I'm not sure why I'm even writing a blog.
I'm just watching So You Think You Can Dance, doing laundry, and washing the dishes...which sounds impressive, until you consider that I have a laundry machine AND dish washing machine doing the work for me. *wink wink*
That's all, folks! Happy Wednesday. :)
This morning I dragged myself out of bed at 7:30 to go to a NST (Non-Stress Test) at St. Mary's Hospital. Baby is active and healthy...which I could've told them without having been strapped to a bed for 40 minutes, considering the fact that Baby is dedicated to kicking me with chutzpah whenever possible. She's active? No kidding!
I'm actually okay with her kicking me. I just wish she'd come out and do it from the outside. Like, seriously Baby...at least be willing to assault me to my FACE. 0_o
Nothing really interesting is happening, so I'm not sure why I'm even writing a blog.
I'm just watching So You Think You Can Dance, doing laundry, and washing the dishes...which sounds impressive, until you consider that I have a laundry machine AND dish washing machine doing the work for me. *wink wink*
That's all, folks! Happy Wednesday. :)
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Marinating and acceptance
The month of July this year was a like a bad movie. It started off well...then got worse and worse...and I kept hoping it would get better and end soon...
And now there's only two days left and all I can think is "I want my money back!"
The flood of emotions one feels in their last weeks of pregnancy is incredible!
Let me give you something to compare it to...remember being a teenager? Remember how your mood could change drastically within minutes?
Yeah. It's like that. One minute I'm crying, the next minute, I'm laughing...I'm morose and pensive on my way to the car, and by the time I sit down, I'm noticing how wonderful the weather is and how blessed I am.
But I have to say...since my "second" due date last Saturday, things have started to calm down a bit.
Oh, I still have moments when I want to shout "WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY!!!????" at the sky, but mostly I'm noticing a mellowing in my mind.
Here's the truth: some babies take longer.
THIS baby is taking longer.
For whatever reason, my little girl needs more time marinating before she's ready to pop out - and thankfully, there is a good deal of evidence that babies born later rather than earlier are calmer, more likely to sleep through the night, and even might be smarter! ;)
Not that my baby could ever get smarter...she's perfect. Andrew will tell you - she doesn't even poop.
But my fears about going overdue are starting to dissipate now. There WILL be back-up for me as the pianist for my brother-in-law's wedding. I WILL have enough time to bond with my baby before school starts. I WILL be able to enjoy the rest of the summer.
And we have an adorable little house to bring our little girl home to! What a huge blessing that is. I'm very grateful.
So even though I can't say I love being overdue...I'm starting to experience the peace that comes with acceptance. It's really okay. These things happen. And I'll survive, and Andrew will survive...and everyone waiting for the news will survive...
And someday "that blog post" will be written. ;)
And now there's only two days left and all I can think is "I want my money back!"
The flood of emotions one feels in their last weeks of pregnancy is incredible!
Let me give you something to compare it to...remember being a teenager? Remember how your mood could change drastically within minutes?
Yeah. It's like that. One minute I'm crying, the next minute, I'm laughing...I'm morose and pensive on my way to the car, and by the time I sit down, I'm noticing how wonderful the weather is and how blessed I am.
But I have to say...since my "second" due date last Saturday, things have started to calm down a bit.
Oh, I still have moments when I want to shout "WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY!!!????" at the sky, but mostly I'm noticing a mellowing in my mind.
Here's the truth: some babies take longer.
THIS baby is taking longer.
For whatever reason, my little girl needs more time marinating before she's ready to pop out - and thankfully, there is a good deal of evidence that babies born later rather than earlier are calmer, more likely to sleep through the night, and even might be smarter! ;)
Not that my baby could ever get smarter...she's perfect. Andrew will tell you - she doesn't even poop.
But my fears about going overdue are starting to dissipate now. There WILL be back-up for me as the pianist for my brother-in-law's wedding. I WILL have enough time to bond with my baby before school starts. I WILL be able to enjoy the rest of the summer.
And we have an adorable little house to bring our little girl home to! What a huge blessing that is. I'm very grateful.
So even though I can't say I love being overdue...I'm starting to experience the peace that comes with acceptance. It's really okay. These things happen. And I'll survive, and Andrew will survive...and everyone waiting for the news will survive...
And someday "that blog post" will be written. ;)
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Going, going...gon- oh. Nope, still here.
Well, yesterday morning I took castor oil in a last ditch effort to kick start labor.
I cleaned the house and went for a couple walks, and around 2:30 I noticed that I was getting regular contractions. I timed them and they were coming about 3 min apart and lasted 30-45 seconds. I called my doctor's office after about an hour and they said I should go to labor and delivery to get checked out.
I waited until Andrew got home, we packed up our stuff, and took off to the hospital.
I left all the bags and such inside the car, since I wasn't optimistic about our chances of staying - my contractions were regular, but not very painful, and I could easily speak and walk through them.
Sure enough, I was only dilated to 1 cm, and stayed that way after another hour of contractions.
So home we went.
After 7 hours of contractions (some of which were pretty powerful and very uncomfortable!), I went to bed and fell asleep almost immediately (Andrew said I was snoring within two minutes, lol).
This morning I woke up with nothing.
One of these days I will write a blog about my birth story...just not today, evidently.
I can't face people at this point. I can't even walk through a grocery store without someone saying "Oh, you look ready to pop!". I feel like I am disappointing my friends and family by not having this kid NOW...although I know that everyone is completely supportive of me and wouldn't want me to feel that way.
It's just that the waiting is wearing away at me!
It's hard not to get impatient with God, too...I've asked and begged Him to let our baby come for weeks now, and many times I've thought, "how hard would it be for God to let me go into labor? He could do that with the snap of his fingers. So why isn't He?"
But who am I to question God's timing? I know that He hold the universe in his hand and knows the timing of all events, large and small. He's got it handled and I have to just let go and trust Him. When it's time, it's time.
He's been so good to us, and I know He will provide.
Today I'm just going to keep on going. That's all I can do.
I cleaned the house and went for a couple walks, and around 2:30 I noticed that I was getting regular contractions. I timed them and they were coming about 3 min apart and lasted 30-45 seconds. I called my doctor's office after about an hour and they said I should go to labor and delivery to get checked out.
I waited until Andrew got home, we packed up our stuff, and took off to the hospital.
I left all the bags and such inside the car, since I wasn't optimistic about our chances of staying - my contractions were regular, but not very painful, and I could easily speak and walk through them.
Sure enough, I was only dilated to 1 cm, and stayed that way after another hour of contractions.
So home we went.
After 7 hours of contractions (some of which were pretty powerful and very uncomfortable!), I went to bed and fell asleep almost immediately (Andrew said I was snoring within two minutes, lol).
This morning I woke up with nothing.
One of these days I will write a blog about my birth story...just not today, evidently.
I can't face people at this point. I can't even walk through a grocery store without someone saying "Oh, you look ready to pop!". I feel like I am disappointing my friends and family by not having this kid NOW...although I know that everyone is completely supportive of me and wouldn't want me to feel that way.
It's just that the waiting is wearing away at me!
It's hard not to get impatient with God, too...I've asked and begged Him to let our baby come for weeks now, and many times I've thought, "how hard would it be for God to let me go into labor? He could do that with the snap of his fingers. So why isn't He?"
But who am I to question God's timing? I know that He hold the universe in his hand and knows the timing of all events, large and small. He's got it handled and I have to just let go and trust Him. When it's time, it's time.
He's been so good to us, and I know He will provide.
Today I'm just going to keep on going. That's all I can do.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Midnight Adventures with Kitty
Last night was Kitty's first night out in the new neighborhood.
She's ventured out a few times during the day, but not at night...until she snuck out last night while Andrew was taking something outside.
So we let her be.
Around midnight last night I heard a cat hiss and holler outside my window, so I woke up Andrew and we went out with a flashlight to see what trouble our little girl had gotten her self into.
Andrew found Kitty...in a tree, with the neighbor cat at the bottom, looking up.
In a tree!
So I grabbed a step stool, and Andrew attempted to get Kitty down...at which point the little stinker batted at his hands and climbed up higher!
Andrew growled, "Well, stay in the tree then!" and stalked back inside, considerably more grumpy than he had been earlier.
Kitty licked her paw, to show she didn't care.
As I looked up at Kitty, with her twitching tail and demurely raised paw, our eyes met -- and a certain feline understanding was conveyed to me...
She didn't want to come down. She felt powerful up there. Go back to bed, you're ruining the game.
Well, then.
Thus went Kitty's first night out. Somehow she managed to get out of that tree last night...and no wonder! I've never seen a cat skeleton in a tree.
She's ventured out a few times during the day, but not at night...until she snuck out last night while Andrew was taking something outside.
So we let her be.
Around midnight last night I heard a cat hiss and holler outside my window, so I woke up Andrew and we went out with a flashlight to see what trouble our little girl had gotten her self into.
Andrew found Kitty...in a tree, with the neighbor cat at the bottom, looking up.
In a tree!
So I grabbed a step stool, and Andrew attempted to get Kitty down...at which point the little stinker batted at his hands and climbed up higher!
Andrew growled, "Well, stay in the tree then!" and stalked back inside, considerably more grumpy than he had been earlier.
Kitty licked her paw, to show she didn't care.
As I looked up at Kitty, with her twitching tail and demurely raised paw, our eyes met -- and a certain feline understanding was conveyed to me...
She didn't want to come down. She felt powerful up there. Go back to bed, you're ruining the game.
Well, then.
Thus went Kitty's first night out. Somehow she managed to get out of that tree last night...and no wonder! I've never seen a cat skeleton in a tree.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
So entirely productive today!!!! Sort of...
Today I:
- did a load of laundry
- Sanded, painted, and hung up a new mirror in our living room
- made red-skin potato salad, corn on the cob, and grilled chicken for dinner
- sanded the rest of that rocking chair for Baby's room
- picked up a desk at a thrift store for Andrew's computer
- Organized the laundry room
- Read a book
- vacuumed the floors
And it's only 2:30!
...And it's all a lie!
Does thinking about being productive sort of count towards being productive?
If I make Andrew do all the above things when he gets home, do I still get some credit?
OR, if I write a weblog about all the things my brain thought about doing today, does that count?
- did a load of laundry
- Sanded, painted, and hung up a new mirror in our living room
- made red-skin potato salad, corn on the cob, and grilled chicken for dinner
- sanded the rest of that rocking chair for Baby's room
- picked up a desk at a thrift store for Andrew's computer
- Organized the laundry room
- Read a book
- vacuumed the floors
And it's only 2:30!
...And it's all a lie!
Does thinking about being productive sort of count towards being productive?
If I make Andrew do all the above things when he gets home, do I still get some credit?
OR, if I write a weblog about all the things my brain thought about doing today, does that count?
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Home again, home again, jiggity jig jig
Well.
We've officially been HERE (at our new home) for a week now.
It was a hot, humid week - which made moving boxes and wiping down walls that much more enjoyable.
But thanks to the helping hands of many dear friends, we have settled in, at least as much as we currently can.
Our first project is Baby's room...which involves some drywall, lots of sanding, and lots of paint. It's going to be SO cute when it's done, though!
Once that is done, we can move on to new rooms and new projects - and I saw "we" loosely, since I know Andrew will be doing most of the renovating and I'll be doing most of the baby-carrying/nursing/changing/washing. :)
Now that my due date is past, I'm starting to resign my hopes for the baby to "come any minute". For two weeks now, I've wondered, "could today be the day?"...and sadly, hope deferred truly makes the heart grow sick.
In my head, I know Baby will make her appearance eventually, and that all will be well...but living under the expectation for weeks on end is tiring and frankly, depressing. Every day that she's not here is a day that I won't be able to spend with her this summer...and although I try to banish that thought from my mind, it keeps creeping back.
My love for my job and my desire to teach is dampened by the fact that I'll be away from my little one...even though it's only 2+ days a week. I just have to remind myself that it's only part time, and that she'll be in very good hands while I'm gone.
I am hibernating a bit. Why, you ask? Well, yesterday when I went for a walk, I heard a lady across the street exclaim, "Dang, she's ready to pop!"
That's why.
One can only take so many comments to the effect of "You're so huge!" or "When's that baby coming?".
And now I stop, think about all the ways that I am blessed, and feel bad for this slightly morose blog. I do have MANY things to be grateful for, and I now make it my goal to "switch" my thought processes, starting now.
I am thankful for:
Andrew
Baby
Kitty
My family
This new home
Good jobs
A great church family
Air conditioning (!)
A soft bed to sleep on
Food in the refrigerator
God's provision for us
Ice cream
Good books
A library near by
The color green
Arts and crafts
Good deals
Swings
Hot water for showers
Running water (can you imagine getting up at night and going out to the outhouse!?!?!)
Music
And the list goes on...
:)
We've officially been HERE (at our new home) for a week now.
It was a hot, humid week - which made moving boxes and wiping down walls that much more enjoyable.
But thanks to the helping hands of many dear friends, we have settled in, at least as much as we currently can.
Our first project is Baby's room...which involves some drywall, lots of sanding, and lots of paint. It's going to be SO cute when it's done, though!
Once that is done, we can move on to new rooms and new projects - and I saw "we" loosely, since I know Andrew will be doing most of the renovating and I'll be doing most of the baby-carrying/nursing/changing/washing. :)
Now that my due date is past, I'm starting to resign my hopes for the baby to "come any minute". For two weeks now, I've wondered, "could today be the day?"...and sadly, hope deferred truly makes the heart grow sick.
In my head, I know Baby will make her appearance eventually, and that all will be well...but living under the expectation for weeks on end is tiring and frankly, depressing. Every day that she's not here is a day that I won't be able to spend with her this summer...and although I try to banish that thought from my mind, it keeps creeping back.
My love for my job and my desire to teach is dampened by the fact that I'll be away from my little one...even though it's only 2+ days a week. I just have to remind myself that it's only part time, and that she'll be in very good hands while I'm gone.
I am hibernating a bit. Why, you ask? Well, yesterday when I went for a walk, I heard a lady across the street exclaim, "Dang, she's ready to pop!"
That's why.
One can only take so many comments to the effect of "You're so huge!" or "When's that baby coming?".
And now I stop, think about all the ways that I am blessed, and feel bad for this slightly morose blog. I do have MANY things to be grateful for, and I now make it my goal to "switch" my thought processes, starting now.
I am thankful for:
Andrew
Baby
Kitty
My family
This new home
Good jobs
A great church family
Air conditioning (!)
A soft bed to sleep on
Food in the refrigerator
God's provision for us
Ice cream
Good books
A library near by
The color green
Arts and crafts
Good deals
Swings
Hot water for showers
Running water (can you imagine getting up at night and going out to the outhouse!?!?!)
Music
And the list goes on...
:)
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Caution
Don't eat pizza.
Or. Do eat pizza...because who can resist those saucy little triangles? Certainly not me!
Just understand that you will be up at 2 am having endured some pretty funky pregnant dreams.
And you'll be thirsty...oh, you will be so thirsty.
(That was a note to self. But I hardly ever listen to myself.)
Here I sit on this spherical bouncy chair, looking frequently down at the floor for the that nasty earwig I saw a couple seconds ago. Squiggle away, you morbid little creature. No one likes you. I don't want you in my house, but I'm too much of a wuss to kill you.
So we will cohabitate peacefully...for now. Tomorrow morning my husband will find and end you.
Yesterday we found out that our baby girl is still a baby girl. It's good to know that I won't have to re-paint those cute pink dresser drawers, or begin a frantic search for boy clothes. Hopefully she stays a baby girl from now until birth. And afterwards also.
We also discovered that she has pouty lips. And a slight frown...which may have been due to the ultrasound technician's prodding and poking, which she obviously objected to.
Nope, that's the pizza.
Those yummy morsels, eager to exact sleepless revenge on all who gleefully partake.
Okay, okay. I'm done waxing eloquent. Tomorrow morning I'll undoubtedly look back on all this and wonder why I let myself
1. write anything at such a late hour, and
2. push the "publish" button.
G'night everyone.
Or. Do eat pizza...because who can resist those saucy little triangles? Certainly not me!
Just understand that you will be up at 2 am having endured some pretty funky pregnant dreams.
And you'll be thirsty...oh, you will be so thirsty.
(That was a note to self. But I hardly ever listen to myself.)
Here I sit on this spherical bouncy chair, looking frequently down at the floor for the that nasty earwig I saw a couple seconds ago. Squiggle away, you morbid little creature. No one likes you. I don't want you in my house, but I'm too much of a wuss to kill you.
So we will cohabitate peacefully...for now. Tomorrow morning my husband will find and end you.
Yesterday we found out that our baby girl is still a baby girl. It's good to know that I won't have to re-paint those cute pink dresser drawers, or begin a frantic search for boy clothes. Hopefully she stays a baby girl from now until birth. And afterwards also.
We also discovered that she has pouty lips. And a slight frown...which may have been due to the ultrasound technician's prodding and poking, which she obviously objected to.
"To which she obviously objected," says the grammatically correct portion of my brain, which is surprisingly awake, although groggy.
There was one picture of her looking straight at the ultrasound wand with her eyes open, which is a little creepy. Possibly responsible for me not being able to sleep tonight.Nope, that's the pizza.
Those yummy morsels, eager to exact sleepless revenge on all who gleefully partake.
Okay, okay. I'm done waxing eloquent. Tomorrow morning I'll undoubtedly look back on all this and wonder why I let myself
1. write anything at such a late hour, and
2. push the "publish" button.
G'night everyone.
Drop it like it's hot...
The baby, that is...
Yesterday at my appointment, Doc measured me at 2 cms smaller than what I had been last week. Shrinking baby? No...probably not. She thinks it's because the baby has dropped lower into my pelvis. That would make sense, seeing as Baby hasn't been doing the acrobatics that she's become known for lately. More just little jabs in my side.
Plus I've been having quite a few Braxton Hicks contractions, which might have pushed her down a bit.
But to be on the safe side, they scheduled an ultrasound for me tomorrow, to make sure I'm not low on amniotic fluid...in which case they'd want to induce me.
I really don't want to be induced, as I've heard it's much more painful than naturally beginning labor.
I've also been having mild cramping and a bit of nausea lately...good signs, I think, that things are progressing! I haven't been walking much lately (since I have to pee every 10 minutes, it feels like!), but tomorrow I plan on doing quite a few 10 minute walks all day long to see if I can get things to progress a little more. I decided that instead of getting discouraged every time I wake up not having gone into labor the night before, I'm just going to see every minute of my life right now as THE LABOR.
It's a process, right? Even if I'm not screaming mean things at my husband and actively pushing a baby out. ;)
Happy birthday to mi madre, who is 50 today! She honestly doesn't look a day past 40. I hope I get those genes...yup, I probably do have those genes. *remembering the many instances of incredulous strangers questioning the appropriateness of me doing things like...get married, and drink mixed beverages, and have a child*
Well, it's 4 am now...I've had my almond butter and jelly sandwich (no cereal! That was a low blow...), and my cup of water, which will only turn around and make me pee numerous times the short remainder of this night. Bladders. Am I right?
The crickets and I wish you a goodnight. :)
Yesterday at my appointment, Doc measured me at 2 cms smaller than what I had been last week. Shrinking baby? No...probably not. She thinks it's because the baby has dropped lower into my pelvis. That would make sense, seeing as Baby hasn't been doing the acrobatics that she's become known for lately. More just little jabs in my side.
Plus I've been having quite a few Braxton Hicks contractions, which might have pushed her down a bit.
But to be on the safe side, they scheduled an ultrasound for me tomorrow, to make sure I'm not low on amniotic fluid...in which case they'd want to induce me.
I really don't want to be induced, as I've heard it's much more painful than naturally beginning labor.
I've also been having mild cramping and a bit of nausea lately...good signs, I think, that things are progressing! I haven't been walking much lately (since I have to pee every 10 minutes, it feels like!), but tomorrow I plan on doing quite a few 10 minute walks all day long to see if I can get things to progress a little more. I decided that instead of getting discouraged every time I wake up not having gone into labor the night before, I'm just going to see every minute of my life right now as THE LABOR.
It's a process, right? Even if I'm not screaming mean things at my husband and actively pushing a baby out. ;)
Happy birthday to mi madre, who is 50 today! She honestly doesn't look a day past 40. I hope I get those genes...yup, I probably do have those genes. *remembering the many instances of incredulous strangers questioning the appropriateness of me doing things like...get married, and drink mixed beverages, and have a child*
Well, it's 4 am now...I've had my almond butter and jelly sandwich (no cereal! That was a low blow...), and my cup of water, which will only turn around and make me pee numerous times the short remainder of this night. Bladders. Am I right?
The crickets and I wish you a goodnight. :)
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Well, despite the new moon last night, I am still "with child".
Maybe tonight? We're supposed to have severe thunderstorms...:D
Maybe tonight? We're supposed to have severe thunderstorms...:D
Or maybe I should just be patient.
(EASIER SAID THAN DONE!)
(EASIER SAID THAN DONE!)
The other day, whilst Andrew and I looked at mattresses at Art Van, one of the sales reps said,
"You are both small people, so..."
I almost threw my arms around him and cried for joy.
On the other hand...
On the other hand...
Maybe he was talking to Andrew and Baby...0_o
Today I have a doctor's appointment. And I will have to firmly state my decision to NOT get the dTaP vaccine.
I've struggled with this, honestly. I want to do the right thing, but I just cannot see how injecting those foreign chemicals and materials into my blood stream could possibly be beneficial to my child! I have a HUGE respect for medicine and science and I'm not saying that vaccines have not been life savers in the past. But I have also read how vaccines have caused all sorts of horrid side effects that I do not want to risk.
I hope I've made the right decision.
I've struggled with this, honestly. I want to do the right thing, but I just cannot see how injecting those foreign chemicals and materials into my blood stream could possibly be beneficial to my child! I have a HUGE respect for medicine and science and I'm not saying that vaccines have not been life savers in the past. But I have also read how vaccines have caused all sorts of horrid side effects that I do not want to risk.
I hope I've made the right decision.
t-minus 4 days until move...
Have a blessed day!
~Briana
~Briana
Monday, July 8, 2013
Monday, Monday, Monday...
Well, good morning!
The nice thing about typing rather than speaking, is that you can sound as perky as you want when no one can see your face or hear your voice.
Sleeping has always been something I've enjoyed...and yet lately it's been downright exhausting! My hips hurt SO bad...a pain only mildly helped by two pillows between my knees. Often I just get up in the middle of the night to sit on my exercise ball, as it helps the pain go away for a while.
My arms and hands also fall asleep regularly, now...so I wake up with pain in my hand joints from having kept them in awkward positions with no blood flow.
Have I mentioned being pregnant is WEIRD? I'm 38 weeks now...
Today Andrew wants to start packing things up to move, since we just have this week left. We've gotten a small start already...with things like books and bathroom supplies. But today I think we'll be packing all of our clothes except for ones we'll use this week, along with pantry items. It's weird to think that we won't be living here much longer! I actually feel kind of sad. I remember the first time we walked through this place...we looked at each other, both thinking "it's PERFECT!". And it was! This renting arrangement came about in a way that only God could've orchestrated and we've really loved it here.
And yet life changes...and now we get to start a new adventure, as home owners...
Just saying that makes me want to scour pinterest for decorating ideas. :)
So what are my plans for today?
Well...that's a good question. Honestly, I don't want to do anything except read and eat, and maybe swim. ;)
But we're out of milk, bread, coffee, and toilet paper...so grocery shopping must happen.
And we're moving soon, so at least SOME cleaning must happen.
And I really need to set aside some time to plan for next year, teaching-wise.
I stopped in my music room yesterday for the first time since school got out. It's currently being used as a storage area while the school is cleaned, so it's not the best time to decorate. Oh well.
But I did get a rush of new inspiration and excitement for the new year...and with it, a bit of an overwhelmed feeling. I have some learning to do this year in terms of juggling responsibilities!
Thank the Lord I have such a supporting family and church family to lean on! Especially my Mom...she's taking the little lumpkin 2 days a week while I teach...what a huge relief to me to know that my kiddo will be in the BEST hands possible!
Alright...as always, I should go make myself look presentable (something that has really slipped through the cracks lately in terms of priorities).
Toodles! <another thing I never actually say...
~Briana
The nice thing about typing rather than speaking, is that you can sound as perky as you want when no one can see your face or hear your voice.
Sleeping has always been something I've enjoyed...and yet lately it's been downright exhausting! My hips hurt SO bad...a pain only mildly helped by two pillows between my knees. Often I just get up in the middle of the night to sit on my exercise ball, as it helps the pain go away for a while.
My arms and hands also fall asleep regularly, now...so I wake up with pain in my hand joints from having kept them in awkward positions with no blood flow.
Have I mentioned being pregnant is WEIRD? I'm 38 weeks now...
Today Andrew wants to start packing things up to move, since we just have this week left. We've gotten a small start already...with things like books and bathroom supplies. But today I think we'll be packing all of our clothes except for ones we'll use this week, along with pantry items. It's weird to think that we won't be living here much longer! I actually feel kind of sad. I remember the first time we walked through this place...we looked at each other, both thinking "it's PERFECT!". And it was! This renting arrangement came about in a way that only God could've orchestrated and we've really loved it here.
And yet life changes...and now we get to start a new adventure, as home owners...
Just saying that makes me want to scour pinterest for decorating ideas. :)
So what are my plans for today?
Well...that's a good question. Honestly, I don't want to do anything except read and eat, and maybe swim. ;)
But we're out of milk, bread, coffee, and toilet paper...so grocery shopping must happen.
And we're moving soon, so at least SOME cleaning must happen.
And I really need to set aside some time to plan for next year, teaching-wise.
I stopped in my music room yesterday for the first time since school got out. It's currently being used as a storage area while the school is cleaned, so it's not the best time to decorate. Oh well.
But I did get a rush of new inspiration and excitement for the new year...and with it, a bit of an overwhelmed feeling. I have some learning to do this year in terms of juggling responsibilities!
Thank the Lord I have such a supporting family and church family to lean on! Especially my Mom...she's taking the little lumpkin 2 days a week while I teach...what a huge relief to me to know that my kiddo will be in the BEST hands possible!
Alright...as always, I should go make myself look presentable (something that has really slipped through the cracks lately in terms of priorities).
Toodles! <another thing I never actually say...
~Briana
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Too hot.
It's days like this that I get really mad at Adam and Eve for making us wear clothes.
Pregnant women shouldn't have to wear clothing.
I can't even finish this blog, because the laptop is making my legs hot.
Friday, July 5, 2013
What a life
Today I got a massage for the first time in my life. One hour. Full body.
Complete bliss.
I found a Living Social deal that was hard to pass up...and my thought was, "If there ever was a time to get a massage, it'd be now."
So I reserved a time and went to get a massage.
I told her, "If you know any tricks or pressure points to get labor started, go for it."
The lady who did my massage was fantastic...I just closed my eyes and rested while she found all of my sore and tense muscles and worked some sense into them.
The good news is that I get to go again on Tuesday...the deal was TWO hours of massage therapy.
Andrew laughed at me yesterday and said (with just the EENSIEST bit of sarcasm) that he was glad I was enjoying my pedicures, massages and swim sessions. ;)
So today I texted him:
Complete bliss.
I found a Living Social deal that was hard to pass up...and my thought was, "If there ever was a time to get a massage, it'd be now."
So I reserved a time and went to get a massage.
I told her, "If you know any tricks or pressure points to get labor started, go for it."
The lady who did my massage was fantastic...I just closed my eyes and rested while she found all of my sore and tense muscles and worked some sense into them.
The good news is that I get to go again on Tuesday...the deal was TWO hours of massage therapy.
Andrew laughed at me yesterday and said (with just the EENSIEST bit of sarcasm) that he was glad I was enjoying my pedicures, massages and swim sessions. ;)
So today I texted him:
I just had a fabulous massage, and now I'm going swimming. How's your day going? ;)
Hehe...:)
I don't feel the least bit guilty, though. When you're 9 months pregnant you tend to not feel guilty about things. Like chocolate. And trips to the spa. :)
In other news, our move-in day is in t-minus 7 days. Next week Saturday we will finally be home-owners-who-live-in-their-home. Even if that means sleeping on a mattress in the living room and eating cold pizza on a cardboard box (evidently my parents did that that last one on their first night in their home).
In other news, our move-in day is in t-minus 7 days. Next week Saturday we will finally be home-owners-who-live-in-their-home. Even if that means sleeping on a mattress in the living room and eating cold pizza on a cardboard box (evidently my parents did that that last one on their first night in their home).
Now I'm going to make a decent meal for Andrew. Evidently my guiltlessness doesn't extend to take-out today. ;)
Have a great weekend!
~Bri
~Bri
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Good morni...oh. The baby STILL hasn't come out?
I just want to clarify...these things do come out, right?
I'm not going to be like this forever...right?
It's a little early for me to be complaining about the baby not coming out. After all, the doc has my due date at July 27 (although I have my due date at July 20, since BOTH ultrasound techs confirmed that it should be so, and some after-the-fact figuring made that date seem more likely. And I'm measuring a week ahead).
So technically I'm only 37 weeks along, and I have no right to whine.
But seriously...I'm sick of being pregnant.
Moment of painful truth: I've gained 50 pounds this pregnancy.
I would almost feel better if I knew I had pigged out on bon bons and big macs these past few months, but the truth is, the weight came out of NO WHERE. I've been eating essentially the same amounts as I had been eating pre-prego...and yet...and yet.
I also never exercised this much before I was pregnant. Hour long walks 3 or 4 times a week? Swimming laps? Psh...that never happened before, but I've been pretty darn good at keeping active, especially since my nausea went away.
Mom says, "It will drop off. Don't worry."
Well, I certainly hope so! I intend on bringing baby on a ton of long walks and eating ridiculous amounts of salad until I get back to my previous weight. This whole blow-up-like-a-balloon thing isn't good on the self-esteem.
Enough about that.
Happy 4th of July!
And also, happy laundry day...because that is what I'll be doing at my parents. That, and possibly jumping on the trampoline.
One thing I'm looking forward to- REALLY looking forward to, is having my own washing machine and dryer at the new house. For the past 4 years we've been either dragging our soiled linens to the local laundry-mat, or to my parent's house. My parents have been very kind and haven't charged us a water bill...remind me to make them dinner or something.
But my OWN washing machine and dryer!? Modern technology at its finest. Now, instead of waiting until we are completely out of towels and clean underwear, we can wash as we go! Just by jogging downstairs!
Seriously...I might have bought this house just for the front loader LG washing machine and dryer set downstairs.
Well...I'm going to go take my supplements and drink my tea and make myself look presentable for the day. Wishing you the very finest of 4ths! :)
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Here we go again!
Well, this is the latest in a long series of attempts to start a blog. I've probably started a good 4 or 5 in the past several years, only to have the posts peter off, leaving my blog an unnoticed wasteland of internet space. To prove my point, my last truly successful blog was Breezeedotcom, my bright corner in the world known as Xanga, in the days of old. I do miss Xanga...it was there that I found my teenage voice. I found out that I could make people laugh. I was downright funny back then!
Of course, that was in the days of old...I was 16 and had plenty of time to think up clever blog posts and witty comments in order to garner up "eprops", the old school version of "likes".
Facebook. *sigh*
But dog-gonnit! (< something I never actually say...) I'm going to try expanding my horizons again. I might even be funny.
No...forget that part. Too much pressure.
I'll just be myself...and try to chronicle my life the best that I can. Even if my posts lack the luster of Breezeedotcom.
*ehem*
Today we close on our new house. Evidently that means that we sit down and sign a gazillion papers, trusting that our real estate agent has read them, knows what they mean, and doesn't intend to screw us over. Once we do that, the house is officially ours, and the current residents have 9 days to move their bunnies out of our home. Their anatomical bunnies. Although if they have actual bunnies, they will be expected to move those as well.
I'm looking around my apartment right now, feeling nostalgic. It's way too small for a growing family, lacks storage space, counter space, and clothes-washing facilities. Yet Andrew and I spent the first 4 years of our lives together here. We fought, laughed, sang, danced, cooked, shouted, slept, and watched several complete tv series in this little place. And it's so dang cute, too...I do feel sad to leave it.
But it's time. Within this month we'll be a family of 4 (and for those of you counting on your fingers, I'm including Kitty in our family), and Baby has way too much stuff for us to stay here.
Can I just talk about baby stuff for a second?
This kid has more stuff than I do...and I've had 24 years to collect! Once you get a bumbo, a swing, a bouncer, a pack n play, a crib, a dresser, 4 boxes of clothing, a box of toys, a box of miscellaneous items (such as bottles, pacifiers, bibs, and wet wipes), a play mat, an exersaucer, a baby tub, and more (!!!), packed into an apartment such as ours, there's no longer any room to move, much less breathe.
In fact, we've moved a large portion of our shower items to my parent's basement for the time being, since there's no way it would all fit here.
I'm actually not confident it will all fit into our new home. We might have to give Baby two rooms. Or sleep in the crib with her.
She's spoiled. :)
Such a busy month...but I'm glad for it to finally be here. I feel so blessed with our new home, our new baby, my new job (more on that in a different post).
Now I'm going to go be productive and do things like take care of my personal hygiene. 0_o
Of course, that was in the days of old...I was 16 and had plenty of time to think up clever blog posts and witty comments in order to garner up "eprops", the old school version of "likes".
Facebook. *sigh*
Facebook, lord of social media, has shrunken our literary expressions to two line statuses. I know people who authored brilliant blogs (again, on Xanga), who now have resorted to such scintillating stati as:
staring at the wall. #sobored #lifesux
Well, of course you're bored! You aren't rising to your literary potential! You're too lazy to even spell "sucks" correctly!
Please note that I'm being a complete hypocrite right now. I go on Facebook several times a day and you can't say that my stati are a shining example of creativity.
But dog-gonnit! (< something I never actually say...) I'm going to try expanding my horizons again. I might even be funny.
No...forget that part. Too much pressure.
I'll just be myself...and try to chronicle my life the best that I can. Even if my posts lack the luster of Breezeedotcom.
*ehem*
Today we close on our new house. Evidently that means that we sit down and sign a gazillion papers, trusting that our real estate agent has read them, knows what they mean, and doesn't intend to screw us over. Once we do that, the house is officially ours, and the current residents have 9 days to move their bunnies out of our home. Their anatomical bunnies. Although if they have actual bunnies, they will be expected to move those as well.
I'm looking around my apartment right now, feeling nostalgic. It's way too small for a growing family, lacks storage space, counter space, and clothes-washing facilities. Yet Andrew and I spent the first 4 years of our lives together here. We fought, laughed, sang, danced, cooked, shouted, slept, and watched several complete tv series in this little place. And it's so dang cute, too...I do feel sad to leave it.
But it's time. Within this month we'll be a family of 4 (and for those of you counting on your fingers, I'm including Kitty in our family), and Baby has way too much stuff for us to stay here.
Can I just talk about baby stuff for a second?
This kid has more stuff than I do...and I've had 24 years to collect! Once you get a bumbo, a swing, a bouncer, a pack n play, a crib, a dresser, 4 boxes of clothing, a box of toys, a box of miscellaneous items (such as bottles, pacifiers, bibs, and wet wipes), a play mat, an exersaucer, a baby tub, and more (!!!), packed into an apartment such as ours, there's no longer any room to move, much less breathe.
In fact, we've moved a large portion of our shower items to my parent's basement for the time being, since there's no way it would all fit here.
I'm actually not confident it will all fit into our new home. We might have to give Baby two rooms. Or sleep in the crib with her.
She's spoiled. :)
Such a busy month...but I'm glad for it to finally be here. I feel so blessed with our new home, our new baby, my new job (more on that in a different post).
Now I'm going to go be productive and do things like take care of my personal hygiene. 0_o
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